Apr
01
April Unemployment Rate Expected to Drop to 0%
ByAP: The April unemployment rate is expected to drop to 0% as Congress expedites the passage of the 2010 Emergency Employment Act. The bill, to be signed by President Obama later this afternoon, provides every unemployed person in the nation with a Federal job, health care coverage, and retirement benefits. The newly created Federal positions fill a wide variety of needs ranging from polishing wind turbine blades to translating peace offerings into Persian. “Obama is finally making good use of his stash,” said unemployed Queens resident Martha Johnson, 37.
14 Comments
April 1st, 2010 at 11:38 am
And who’s gonna be payin for these “created federal jobs”?????????
April 1st, 2010 at 11:55 am
It’s all paid for by the “Obama stash.”
April 1st, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Obama stash translates to “Middle class taxpayer”!
April 6th, 2010 at 12:23 am
who is “paying” for these jobs?
the jobs are creating wealth! that’s what jobs do.
the creation of them costs money, yes, but it’s crazy to suggest that creating new jobs will cost society money in the long run.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:38 am
Based on these statements, you are kook.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:39 am
oh, and nobody except you is saying that unemployment will drop to 0, or even close. I’ve heard that it will create 200,000 jobs, and at a cost of 17 billion, that comes out to about $85000 per job, a reasonable amount to create employment. And the jobs are, for a large part, transitional jobs, that train for future employment. Teach a man to fish, you know.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:43 am
if I am “kook”, then capitalism is also. A large part of capitalism putting up capital to create employment, with the expectation that more money (profit, in the case of a private corporation. with government, the profit is financial growth).
but thank you for the articulate retort.
April 6th, 2010 at 12:44 am
BAHAHAHAHA, you just changed your post from “you are kook” to “Based on these statements, you are kook.” Is there a reason?
April 6th, 2010 at 12:48 am
You do know this is an April Fool’s Day joke posted on April Fool’s Day (April 1st) and filed under the Humor category, right? I mean come on, “polishing wind turbine blades to translating peace offerings into Persian?”
April 6th, 2010 at 12:57 am
Just the type of statement I’d expect from a kook.
My apologizes. I would often reply in more detail, but it’s late, and sometimes I just don’t feel like explaining things such as why the world isn’t flat. And given the nature of this post, I give myself further liberties for expression. I’ll just leave it as an exercise to the readers to figure out why your statements are out of the realm of reality.
April 6th, 2010 at 1:00 am
Maybe I wanted to be less harsh… or maybe I just wanted to give you more of an opportunity to prove yourself as a kook.
October 30th, 2010 at 2:05 am
DOWN WITH CAPITALISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SOCIALISM!!! – But in a democratic and meaningful way… I am sorry my friend, but Socialism has been in this country for 100 years.. Social security isn’t going anywhere, neither is unemployment.. and by the way I see it.. by 2012-2013, this country is going to have a double-dip recession because CAPITALISM HAS BEEN FLAWED SINCE ITS BIRTH… 900 YEARS OLD AND its barely hanging on…
You can’t stop 100 years of programs that have benefited people LONG BEFORE YOU AND I WERE BOTH BORN..
Democratic socialism or SOCIAL DEMOCRACY is the way forward.. if this country is to survive.. with the unemployment rate still very high, its little wonder to see the destruction of what CAPITALISM has done.. I don’t agree with you and you certainly don’t know what SOCIALISM really is.. I suggest you study it and learn about it because the way I see things, this country is heading for economic collapse.. not due to socialism, NO…. But due to STATE-CAPITALIST ELITE CORPORATE RULE..
DUMB CAPITALIST PIG!
October 31st, 2010 at 1:51 am
נדב,
כן, בטח, נכון, מה באמת
October 31st, 2010 at 1:59 am
Is your comment a gag like this post, or is it serious? Because it has about 0% attachment to reality? State capitalism (which is of little resemblance to free market capitalism) and socialism are like twins.
Yes, that’s what they tried in counties like France! I wonder why they have riots now…
So what? It’s all about the degree of socialism. Nobody I know is suggesting eliminating all government programs.
It will be physically impossible to sustain all those benefits because there will be no money for them. No matter what happens, much of the benefits will stop.
Life is flawed. But socialism only makes things worse.
Such as affordable housing programs, which allowed and encouraged mortgages to be issued to people who can’t afford them in massive quantities, creating a housing bubble and tons of toxic assets. But that was never a problem and only benefited people.
It’s always the dumbest idiots themselves who come out guns blazing and call me one.